love was someone that you loved to find

loving has been waiting patient and kind
just wanting a phone call or some kind of sign
at the one that she cares for, whos out of his mind
will make it back safe to her arms

hate stumbles forward and leans in the door
weary head hung down, eyes to the floor
he says, "love im sorry" and she says, "what for?"
"im yours and thats it, whatever"
i should not have been gone for so long
"im yours and thats it, forever'

the avett brothers...my favorite right now, eh.

I quit johnny brendas and i am very happy about it.

life is great.

trusting the Lord...he is providing

enjoying good friends.

ive seen the most beautiful sights and felt great peace

i was dancing around a garden in the rain with thunder and lightning roaring over our heads. i layed in the long grass and smiled.

i feel new.

well

sometimes I get so fed up with people. I think my expectations are too high for situations and people in them. I am constantly second guessing and doubting. When will I be content? More and more my idea sounds good... I know I will be frustrated there, here, or on the moon. What is wrong with me? I guess I need to give up the need to feel content. I need to learn to deal with how im feeling with a more positive attitude. I need some freaking help with my brain.

a few thoughts

i love dan platt. he did the sweetest thing i have ever seen the other day. Randomly brought over lunch and a fresh fruit place, it was amazing. So sweet.

Philly has been great. Things are great. Everything is great...however, there is something, somewhere in California that is very tempting to me. I could easily see myself going there...its a secret location and its a crazy idea.

Oh, Crap.

i love her. truly, dearly, deeply

so what if im obsessed?















A tribute to my bestfriend. Brought on by talks of life partners and other best friends...I want to have a friend ceremony (its kind of like a wedding ceremony, but way better!) you may all find this to be ridiculous. but its my dang blog and I love pictures.

in my little world

I guess I said too much...but I often have that problem. I start typing what I'm thinking and dont really take the time to step outside of it and consider what I'm actually saying to other people. Eh? It was less aimed towards any of you and more towards my own failures, frustrations with self, with my greed, and things that I made into idols. I don't think that those things are inherently bad...but, like most things, we can make a simple object into a God. Its silly how much this got built up today...I was so nervous and a knot in my stomach...Worrying that I upset people and stepped on toes. I had too long of a conversation last night was some amazing girls to be too worried though. I would rather step on toes then sit back and say nothing. And by all means I invite you to cut my feet off...let me know what you think. This is how Im learning. I am challeneged and questioned and it makes me vulnerable. Its easy for me to get defensive and angry. I have to take a moment and see what they were saying, find the love, and realize that the truth is hard to take. I am trying to figure this out...I just want to be sharing it with you all. Here and there. Getting your feedback and giving mine. I am changing, growing, and learning a ton. A lot about myself and a lot about community. This is so random and I should probably stop letting my fingers get ahead of my thoughts but this is me and its silly. I have decided to stop looking for a nanny job. I have nannied for a few families but nothing permanent and I have just been frustrated with not finding a permanent family. So...I cried and was frustrated, wondering why I was here, wondering what I am doing and how Im going to live and support Elisha...I woke up the next morning and was finally excited to have something I want to do. I am going to try and get a job as a companion/caregiver/home advisor with an elderly home or with mentally disabled adults....I am honestly excited about this. Praise the Lord! So many people are coming from CA in two weeks for lindseys wedding... I cant wait.