watch my fall apart, only love, show my your heart.

okay. so the trip also had a main theme.. Galilee. First time back in the community after being gone for four years. After my death and life. After I changed. After the birth of my daughter Galilee. That some family in the community knew about and then others did not. And it was so sweet. Because I so love to have her a part of my community. And that was something that was really hard for me was that they didn't know. They didn't know me and they didn't she was alive and just any of my life. I was so blessed by how many did know. And the amazing and beautiful and intimate moments I got to share with them all. I love my friends and family in Philadelphia. I need more words. Words like how I feel safe with them. I feel valued. I feel like I be myself.. in a way different from here in CA. Because my relationships and the nature of how people live and what they believe and how they love and interact is very different there and yet surprisingly always the same. So it was good. I had some good one on ones and little pod, group sessions of sharing hearts, laughing hysterically, watching elisha spin dj records and rock out, dancing with a friend, smoking, etc. Even here I want to omit that part about smoking. But it happened. it was real.

 I have in fact dreamed about most of this. No joke. I dream about Philadelphia all the time. Well often. One of my most reoccurring dream places and its been for the last 5 years. And so many of the things and themes of my dreams have and are happening. Which is really quite normal. Because as I have already been saying God is always around us and loving us. At that time I needed dreams. At this time I choose not to but they weren't getting interpreted so they really were becoming confusing. I miss my friends so much on the East coast. I really may want to live there again soon. I dont know if that would be temporary, long term visits, or full time for 10er. Woah. So thats there too. But I have so many plans and they are mostly here.
anyways.
goodnight again.
peace and joy to youall.