"I spy with my eye something quite rivery"

A list of Thanks

• Elisha, my beautiful son, for constantly reflecting to me what love looks like. For teaching my patience, even when it is unwanted. For constantly being my biggest fan and sweetest boy. For loving me despite my mistakes. For making life so much more joyful.
• For my dear friends. Karen, Marlee, Malory, Sarah, Kim, Nelly, and so on. For loving me. Sacrificing for me, sharing with me, taking me in and supporting my decisions, for laughter and the serious moments that bond us together.
• For my family far away. For feeling close despite the distance.
• For my church.
  
• For my future.
  

For my life.

For Thanksgiving this year we came to Lancaster, Pa with my friend Sarah Mueller. Lancaster is a beautiful area a few hours outside of Philadelphia. It is where a good amount of the amish live and drive horse and buggy cars around. It is so nice to be outside of the city. I am not in complete wilderness by any means, but it is fantastic to see trees outside. I love Sarah's family. Her grandparents are in town from Maryland and Elisha is quite fond of them from the time we had spent together during the summer at their pool. We had great meals and got to be pampered by Sarah's step-mother and grand-mother. The sweetest people. I had an amazing conversation with this new grandmother who came to the us from Cuba in her teens. We talked for a long time about her travels and her life. It was so nice to have the older generations around. I really miss having this part of life around. It reminded me that I want to raise Elisha in the country. However, it also made me aware of how much time I have. It also made me miss my grandmother who passed away almost two years ago. I thought of her a lot on Thanksgiving. I missed her and I missed my home land. I've been having a lot of weird moments lately as I wrote before. The newest and most occurring is my memories. Very random things are triggering memories from when I was a young child. Good and happy memories. Travels with my grandparents to different states mostly. The strange thing is how often this is happening. A couple times a day. Very vivid memories. Memories I have not had since they happened. It is overwhelming actually. Too much of the past. and when I get to the point in the memory where I can't move forward and remember the entire event I get frustrated. I don't know.

Anyways, I am still in Lancaster. Sarah's dad Dr. Gary and Elisha have hit it off. Today while Sarah was busy Gary, his wife, Elisha, and I went to a beautiful state park and hiked around. It was lovely. In a little bit Elisha and Gary are going to build a bon-fire and cook hot dogs. I think Johnny Rashid is coming over soon which will be great.

I really want a family. A big one. This weekend has increased my desire for a home, a family, and a place in the woods.